By Diane Wheeler

Let's be honest, it's intimidating and a tad humiliating to shop in an environment in which the language and social etiquette are unfamiliar. For a start queue jumping is a national sport here whereas in England we join one without even knowing why! I admit to getting annoyed by it but have learned that a certain confidence in body language and expression helps, as does the phrase ‘Se non le dispiace é il mio turno.' This means ‘If you don't mind it's my turn.' I would prefer to use a Southern dialect phrase used by my Italian father in law. ‘Ké! u cul tù é qiù bell rù mi?' This is a pretty sarcastic retort meaning ‘Is your bottom more beautiful than mine?' I wouldn't recommend you try it, unless you're from Basilicata no-one will understand you anyway…

Being English I always remember my P's and Q's but you'll often hear Italians order a coffee in bars in a way that would sound rude in English. ‘Dammi un café.' Meaning ‘Give me a coffee.' You might well hear this familiar form but it's important that it's spoken in a polite tone of voice so as not to offend. I would recommend the polite conditional form, ‘Potrei avere un caffè?' Which is ‘Could I have a coffee please?'

There are many ways to have your coffee. The most popular way is simply an espresso, a small cup of pure coffee for which you should pay around 80 cents – 1 euro. An espresso is good after a heavy meal, while a cappuccino is better in the morning (the milk can make a terrible effect on the digestive system after eating). If you like your cappuccino very warm or hot you need to ask for ‘un cappuccino bollente' as Italians usually take it tepid. Caffè Macchiato, (literally stained coffee) is espresso with a dash of milk. Café latte is coffee with more milk than a cappuccino and is usually served in a tall glass.

Between 5pm – 7 pm bars are full of people enjoying the company of friends together with an aperitivo. There are also non-alcoholic drinks such as crodino, a slightly fizzy drink made from vegetable extract, red or white bitter or campari soda. You can find a selection of bar snacks to accompany your aperitivo to keep the wolf from the door before dinner (cena). These range from mini pizzas, breads with ham and cheese to olives and savoury snacks. You are welcome to help yourself to these as the price of the aperitivo is usually included. Obviously it's rude to go mad and pile your plate high with food… I often think that the reason why you hardly ever see groups of drunken Italians picking fights and causing trouble is because they prefer to drink as an accompaniment to food rather than drinking on an empty stomach. As we all know this state can cause some people to behave aggressively. Speaking as a woman I've found a sense of security and liberty that I found impossible when living in England. Of course major Italian cities are not without their dangers but certainly smaller towns, especially those in Tuscany and Umbria are safe places to venture out as a family in order to enjoy ‘un buon gelato'.

This brings me to another favourite Italian ideal ‘The Family'. It is said that families who eat together stay together and in Italy meals are sacrosanct occasions. The preparation of food is an art form in itself and every village in each region has its own distinctive way of preparing similar dishes. Most children are brought up to drink wine at meal times. By making alcohol more of a social occasion connected to eating and being in company teenagers don't tend to associate it with rebellious or over indulgent behaviour. This was once certainly the case but times change and teenagers are becoming more of a homogenous species. I speak as a mother of two teens who came with me to live at the onset of puberty (theirs obviously!).

Regarding shopping for clothes, be prepared to be approached by friendly and immaculately turned out sales staff eager to be of assistance. It's unusual to be told ‘If it's not there we haven't got it,' as I've been told on numerous occasions in England. Italian sales assistants won't think that you're being a nuisance if you ask to see different styles and sizes. I've spent at least an hour in shops even leaving without buying anything and have never been met with a cool response. Maybe they're just good actors but it's wonderful to be spoilt with individual attention. Be aware that while you are being served it's most likely that some bright spark will interrupt your special experience by trying to get advice or to be served instead. Usually they will smile innocently with hands raised ‘Solo una domanda'. (‘Only a question.'). This is a typical Italian queue jumping device used also in post offices and banks. The best form of defence is to cast the sales assistant an exasperated look. They are usually adept at dealing with shopping hecklers and anyway, as you're foreign they will prefer to serve you in the belief that all English and Americans are loaded!

Useful Shopping Phrases

English Italian

I'm just looking. Sto guardando.

How much is it? Quanto costa?

Can I try it on? Posso provarlo?

Have you got one in a smaller/larger size? Ne ha uno più piccolo/più grande?

Can I have a receipt? Posso avere uno scontrino?

It doesn't often happen but there are shopkeepers or bar proprietors who prefer not to issue receipts for tax reasons. I sympathise with their plight to a point but if you are stopped by the police outside and asked to show your receipt you can be fined together with the shopkeeper if you don't possess one. Don't let this put you off. Shopping in Italy is such a wonderful experience and even if you don't have much money to spend you can window shop clutching a delicious and inexpensive ice-cream enjoying flavours that don't exist in Old Blighty.

The evening passeggiata (walk) is an extremely pleasant excuse to see and be seen. Italians love nothing better than to show off their attire. Notice how rarely you see a dog eared handbag or a scruffy pair of shoes. La Bella figura (creating a good impression) is of great importance. Italians manage the art of looking good effortlessly often making us English feel quite drab in comparison. There aren't many track suits in evidence here of an evening… So what are you waiting for?

Buona passeggiata e Buone Spese!